Online Dating, Writing, and Grammar – Does it Matter?

Does writing well matter for online dating? Does proper grammar make a difference in profiles and messages? Does it matter if you use all lowercase, don’t know how to properly use punctuation, or maybe write in a texting style language? What about misspellings?

Both empirical observations as well as scientific dating suggest they may. They certainly matter a lot to some individuals.

Personally I can state that I find intelligence attractive, and although one can be intelligent and even illiterate and unschooled, there is so little to go on in online dating that not writing well gives an impression of not being very smart. Also, it can give an impression that dating simply isn’t important if a profile appears to be hastily slapped together with misspellings, grammatical errors, and punctuation missing or run astray. And a message that is a “writing mess” gives an impression that the sender doesn’t consider the recipient important enough to spend the extra minute it takes to proof read it.

There are even apps that rank message quality based on writing skill! And many people use these as they are increasing in popularity.

writingYou might be the most attractive woman I’ve seen in years, and we might have many compatible interests and more, but if your profile looks like it was written by a 10 year old, it’s very doubtful you are going to hear from me. In fact often from just a profile I can tell if someone has merely a high school education or has gone to college.

Match found in one of their studies, that after personal hygiene, they judged potential dates based on grammar! 88% of woman said grammar mattered to then, and slightly less men, 75%. eHarmony has found that a man with two spelling errors is 14% less likely to receive a positive response.

One the other hand, a well writing profile and messages have no downside. No one is going to be upset about proper spelling for example.

It goes beyond simply not making errors. Dating Guru Adam Gilad, a former professional writer, found when he became single again although he had zero dating skills, the fact that he could write eloquently made him very desirable online.

There are even services that will rewrite your profile for you. Many people report that the professionals that do this bring out the “real them” in their profile, no doubt due to their writing skill. A quick google will find many such services and professionals.

Writing matters in online dating. No, not necessarily to everyone, but to many people. And it just may matter to that one important person.

Take time writing your profile. Proofread it several times. Reading aloud works well to both find errors that otherwise escape you and to otherwise improve it. Getting someone else to read it also helps.

Writing – it simply matters often enough to be a concern!


2 Responses to “Online Dating, Writing, and Grammar – Does it Matter?”

  1. Maxine says:

    There was a Wall Street journal article about this recently. Grammar doesn’t matter to me that much, but sometimes it does. If someone claims to be a doctor or a lawyer, their prose better be perfect. An auto mechanic, not so important.

    • Paul Foreman says:

      I must admit I agree Maxine. Although grammar matters a lot, it doesn’t always. I just met someone from Europe online – her English language grammar is pretty bad, but better than my Swedish grammar!

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