How to Meet Women Online

This article is aimed at men, although I know plenty of women who also want to meet women online. It is aimed at men because we men have serious problems online dating and usually fail. Women have better luck in general.

Now women in general hate the idea of online dating (yes, a stereotype, and generally true). Men love the

This couple met online

Coffee Shops are popular places for first dates/meetups

idea but the vast majority of men quit, never having had an actual date. Plenty of men do succeed however and find wives, life partners, cool women to hang out with, and even friends. Yup, I have some close female friends I met online who are attractive, wonderful, and awesome – but we have no chemistry. It’s okay and sometimes they have cute friends!

Commit to at least 2 months, better 3-4 months, of trying online dating. The first 6 weeks minimum are really just getting warmed up and learning the ropes. You can read all you want, and it can help enormously, but unless you start trying it you aren’t getting anywhere. Think someone can learn to golf by watching videos and reading without ever picking up a club?

So, let’s talk about what it takes to succeed. Read all the tips on this site first of all – it is experience learned primarily from in the trenches but also based on what others recommend. However, just like your mother’s advice of “Just be yourself,” much advice doesn’t work. It might not be actionable, might just be wrong, or might not work for you. (BTW, of course you should be yourself! Who else can you be? Batman maybe? That’s silly).

So, for success, I want you to start with three (yes, THREE) online dating sites. You’ll find plenty of reviews here. The reason you want several is quite simply you may need to check out several sites to find one you like and that work for you, and this also allows you to widen your “net.” My top three choices are probably Match, OKCupid, and Plenty of Fish and indeed your three may quite likely intersect or even mirror that list.

So, after you’ve picked and setup a profile on three sites to start (more on the profile elsewhere as it matters), start sending messages to women. Oh, and you need at least one picture on your profile.

The vast majority of your messages will not be responded to. That does not mean rejected, just not responded to. Women may not be reading or may be overloaded or whatever. If you get one out of ten responses, be happy!

I want you to send at least 5-10 messages a day – feel free to take Saturday off which is probably the worst day to send messages. You WILL get some responses, although it may seem to take forever. You WILL get dates!

Every message should mention something from her profile (so she knows you actually read it and aren’t sending the same email to 100 cute women like most men do). Keep first messages very short! Of course we’ll write way more on messages later. I find being funny, poking gentle fun at her profile, to be very effective.

That’s the basics. Pick three sites (come can be free). Setup a profile and improve it as time goes on. And send lots of messages!


2 Responses to “How to Meet Women Online”

  1. Bob says:

    With I had read this 3 months ago! I used to spend a couple of hours a night writing one or two messages only, and wondering why no one responded. I think my messages were also way too long, up to 2-3 pages long

    • Paul Foreman says:

      2-3 pages are waaaay too long Bob for a first message! Most of the messages will never be seen, and some popular women get dozens of messages a day. They do not have time to read them all, so a shorter message has more opportunity of making it!

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