About Paul Foreman

Paul Foreman has been a member since February 17th 2014, and has created 16 posts from scratch.

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Online Dating, Writing, and Grammar – Does it Matter?

Does writing well matter for online dating? Does proper grammar make a difference in profiles and messages? Does it matter if you use all lowercase, don’t know how to properly use punctuation, or maybe write in a texting style language? What about misspellings?

Both empirical observations as well as scientific dating suggest they may. They certainly matter a lot to some individuals.

Personally I can state that I find intelligence attractive, and although one can be intelligent and even illiterate and unschooled, there is so little to go on in online dating that not writing well gives an impression of not being very smart. Also, it can give an impression that dating simply isn’t important if a profile appears to be hastily slapped together with misspellings, grammatical errors, and punctuation missing or run astray. And a message that is a “writing mess” gives an impression that the sender doesn’t consider the recipient important enough to spend the extra minute it takes to proof read it.

There are even apps that rank message quality based on writing skill! And many people use these as they are increasing in popularity.

writingYou might be the most attractive woman I’ve seen in years, and we might have many compatible interests and more, but if your profile looks like it was written by a 10 year old, it’s very doubtful you are going to hear from me. In fact often from just a profile I can tell if someone has merely a high school education or has gone to college.

Match found in one of their studies, that after personal hygiene, they judged potential dates based on grammar! 88% of woman said grammar mattered to then, and slightly less men, 75%. eHarmony has found that a man with two spelling errors is 14% less likely to receive a positive response.

One the other hand, a well writing profile and messages have no downside. No one is going to be upset about proper spelling for example.

It goes beyond simply not making errors. Dating Guru Adam Gilad, a former professional writer, found when he became single again although he had zero dating skills, the fact that he could write eloquently made him very desirable online.

There are even services that will rewrite your profile for you. Many people report that the professionals that do this bring out the “real them” in their profile, no doubt due to their writing skill. A quick google will find many such services and professionals.

Writing matters in online dating. No, not necessarily to everyone, but to many people. And it just may matter to that one important person.

Take time writing your profile. Proofread it several times. Reading aloud works well to both find errors that otherwise escape you and to otherwise improve it. Getting someone else to read it also helps.

Writing – it simply matters often enough to be a concern!


Catholic Match Review

PopeCatholic Match is an online dating site specifically and exclusively for those who are Catholic and seemingly serious about their faith. Of course you will also find serious Catholics on other sites like Match and OKCupid, and many people their stress their faith and its importance, but on Catholic Match you will exclusively find (hopefully) very serious Catholics.

The mere fact that someone signs up indicates that they are serious about their faith

It has been endorsed by several prominent Catholic leaders such as author Mary Beth Bonacci, Rev. Frank Pavone Founder, Priests for Life, author Stephanie Wood Weinert, and radio host Steve Wood. OK, so maybe you never heard of these people, but a great many serious Catholics have and are fans of and trust them.

Originally started in 1999 as StRaphael.net by Jason LaFosse and Brian Barcaro, they changed the name in 2004 as people were having difficulty with the name StRaphael.net – it’s hard to remember and the .net extension was probably gotten wrong a great many times. In fact they were amazed that the name CatholicMatch.com was even available as online dating had already exploded! (St Raphael is the patron saint of singles).

The site is pretty simple and easy to use, although there are lots of rules (Catholics should be accustomed to this) and fine print. For example, annoying automatic rebilling as a great many sites do and a no refunds policy, even if you get thrown out.

Just like most sites, you can look around and see if there are matches in your area before you sign up. You can sign up for free, but to actually meet anyone you will need a paid member ship which is pretty standard.

Actually with a free membership you can do almost everything except contact members. It is not expensive and current membership options include $29.99/monthly, $12.49/month for six months billed as a lump sum and a few other options.

Some of the rules are “interesting.” For example staff can monitor, edit, and remove any and all communications and all communications must adhere to the “Catholic doctrine.”

Signing up will take about 15-20 minutes as they ask you a bunch of questions, both faith based such as can you marry in the Catholic Church (for non-Catholics, the Catholic Church has far more rules on who can marry and how etc. than any other Christian church I know of) and basic demographic info like age and where you live.

To summarize the site, it has a large and active membership of serious and semi-serious Catholics. If you are looking for a Catholic for marriage, this is a decent site and well worth checking out!

OurTime Reviews

OurTime is one of numerous niche dating sites that have popped up for just about any niche you can imagine, and they serve a massive niche: 50+ individuals. The site has has been around since 2011.

OutTime is a Legitimate Dating Site

Now speaking for several of the over 50+ women that I know, most of them strongly dislike getting messages from boys/men young enough to be their sons: that won’t happen here. And although some men prefer or are at least open to dating younger women, there is a lot to be said for dating someone more likely to have similar life experiences and be in a similar place in life.

Signing up for Our Time is quick and easy, with the standard questions, 14 in all, including how many children you have and how many live with you. There are free and paid options available.

Senior Couple on BeachEase of Use is High with Limited Support Available However

Ease of use seems to be one of the key features on OurTime, and admittedly, older folks are less likely to be highly computer literate than say my teenager.

Just like most sites, the “free” options only lets you look around for other singles (OKCupid and POF being notable exceptions). There is not enough functionality to message back and forth, but you can check to see how many singles are somewhat local. This can be an issue if you are not in major metropolitan area with all niche dating sites.

Features are pretty good, include messaging, live chat, and a straightforward search functionality.

Many people express frustration with their billing.

OurTime’s billing policies have been described as scammy by many and worse, although they are somewhat straightforward. Currently a 6 month subscription is about $12 a month billed 6 months in advance. For an extra dollar a month there is an option where they will place you higher in others search results. They auto renew all memberships (just like Match.com, no surprise, as they are owned by the same parent company).

Yes, this is highly annoying, but it is how they do it and it is in their terms of service. Make sure you cancel if you want to stop the billing, and you can always directly call your credit card company as well to be sure. There is little customer service, and this extends to billing. Customer service seems to be done in Costa Rica.

You will find lots of complaints online, not only about billing, but about the site. Most of these are downright ludicrous and not credible. They seem to be largely by people that simply do not understand online dating and how it works. “I messaged 5 women and no one answered” or “too many of the men are unattractive” simply indicates immaturity among the reviewers, even if they are over 50!

Online dating, just like any dating, involves a lot of effort. Many Ourtime reviews are from people that simply do not get that.

It is an OK site, many over 50s like it a lot, but the billing is frustrating and in the end it is a credible online dating site with all the good and bad that comes with it.

JDate Review – A Jewish Dating Site

JDate is a very popular niche website.

The J stands for “Jewish” although you will find both Jews and non-Jews on the site.

It is primarily Jewish certainly, and its mission is “to strengthen the Jewish community and ensure that Jewish traditions are sustained for generations to come.”

They describe themselves as “the premier Jewish singles community online” on their front page.

I know several Jewish couples who met on JDate, and you will find both practicing and non-practicing Jewish people on the site. When signing up, members are asked many questions about their faith including about beliefs and daily practices to aid in finding compatible matches.

JDate Home PageNow with that said, why would a non-Jew be interested? Well, for starters, many non-Jews like to date Jews. As a friend said to me, “Do you like well educated smart women?” and of course I answered yes. I have only joined as a free trial member so far, but I do love the site and its features, as several of my Jewish friends who are members have also commented.

Last time I checked, there were nearly 20,000 members logged on all at once. Now that is a large number, however they are spread all over the world. Some people have commented that if you are not in or near a major metropolitan area you may find very few remotely local matches.

JDate is not a free site, no surprise, but there is a “free” option. Like most other sites (except OKCupid and POF), the free options is not really functional but allows you to look around and see how many local potential matches there are. You cannot however send or receive messages, access the forums, or chat without a paid membership which is fair enough.

Chats, videos, forum, real time audio, dating advice from Rabbis, lists of Jewish related events and much more are included. They also organize as well as list local events.

What does it cost? Well, let’s say that membership is comparable to other dating sites, no surprise as it is owned by the Spark Network, which owns over 2 dozen other sites including ChristianMingle, BBW Personals Plus (for LARGE people), Deaf Singles Connection, and Catholic Mingle.

Of course pricing can and will change, but a single month is currently slightly less than US$40, 3 month memberships average out to slightly under US$30 a month, and six month memberships to slightly under $20 a month (a popular option).

JDate is a great site with wonderful features. Of course there are also other Jewish dating sites available, like JewFling, PerfectMatch, Jewish Café and Jewcier, but JDate is currently the largest.

Eharmony Review

Eharmony reviews are interesting. Like many dating sites, people often hate or love Eharmony. It certainly is “interesting.”

If you are heterosexual looking for a long term relationship including marriage, Eharmony simply works. Its track record is impressive and they claim about 90 marriages a day from their site!

Eharmony:long term heterosexual relationship central

Eharmony:long term heterosexual relationship central

They absolutely do have the reputation of somewhere to go if you want to get married. One of my best friends very recently married a wonderful lady he met on Eharmony.

Eharmony claims they use a patented “scientific approach to match highly compatible singles” based on over 35 years of research by Dr. Neil Clarke Warren. I do not doubt that. They also state that potential matches are “prescreened on 29 Dimensions® of Compatibility: scientific predictors of long-term relationship success.”

Unlike other dating sites, you can’t join, upload a picture, and start looking around. They have around 400 questions you need to answer first, so they can find compatible people for you. The sign up process obviously takes a long time, and so you tend to find highly motivated singles here.

Also, if they do not like you, you are denied access. Eharmony started as a Christian dating site (they do NOT advertise that any more) and is pretty much designed for heterosexuals with Christian values.

Since their matching algorithms (far from perfect of course) seem to work, chances are you will get a far higher rate of responses from messages you send out, and if you are female and not sending messages, you will want to reply to a far higher percentage. Yes, there may be some absolute mismatches but far less than other sites. If you are looking for a great long term relationship, then you only need one direct hit. Of course your results may vary.

There is no searching built in! What a difference from other dating sites like POF! They will only send you potential matches. Now initially there may be few or no matches, so you may need to sign up and go back after a little while and see what is there for you.

You can sign up for free, going through the lengthy sign up process, and only become a paid (and functional member) after they start sending you messages.

An advantage to this approach is that they may email you discount offers to entice you to become a paid member, and Eharmony is expensive for a dating site.  A month costs nearly US$60, and just like other sites, multi month memberships are much cheaper per month. The popular six month option is approximately US$175. You will find some complaints online that they autorenew and bill you sometimes by surprise (Match.com has some similar complaints). Whether these are legit or not I do not know, but use Paypal or a Credit Card and you can dispute them immediately.

So, if you are looking for a long term heterosexual relationship, consider Eharmony strongly as one of at least 2 or 3 sites you are using in parallel to find your match, perhaps including a solid freebie like OKCupid.